288 Smith Street
Collingwood VIC 3066
+61 3 8415 0700
My dear friend Hasan is the fussiest eater I know. And I don’t mean fussy in the ‘I only eat organic shit, thanks’ way but more so the ‘I like what I like so if something looks weird, I won’t eat it.’ That means nothing Asian, nothing with eggs in it and nothing that contains a lot of vegetables. (yeah, I know – if he was straight and on Tinder, I’d be swiping left)
Whenever we eat out, we usually stick to pub grub, pizza or burgers. Once, he convinced me to have Red Rooster with him and because I had not been in a year, I agreed (of course, five minutes after I finished my Rippa Roll, I felt the need to throw up). The next time we decided to go out, I made sure I chose the venue. There was going to be no fast food for us this time!
Thankfully, Hasan was open to having a late lunch at Rockwell and Sons. He was always down for some burgers and was even happy to tram out to Smith Street with me, though I suspect his willingness to perform the latter was because it meant that he could spend hours at one of Smith Street’s music stores and spend money on Janet Jackon vinyls.
It was just after 2PM on a Saturday night when we showed up. It was busy but luckily we were able to nab one of the last few available tables with a good view of the bar – and the bartender dude who reminded me of Adam from Girls.
Being an American dude food place, Rockwell and Sons offer glasses of ‘old-fashioned’ lemonade, which is what I would have normally ordered but I decided to try the more unusual strawberry and star anise drink. I’m not a fan of strawberry-flavoured drinks (and especially not strawberry milk) but I didn’t mind this one – it was almost like drinking a strawberry cordial but with more substance thanks to the addition of star anise and a bit of lemon.
Burgers and fries – like Maccas, but better.
Speaking of Maccas, Rockwell and Son’s signature double patty smash burger (which we both ordered) is a nod to the Big Mac. Like the Big Mac, it came with a seeded bun, Kraft (yes, Kraft) cheese and ‘special sauce.’ The only things missing were the pickles and lettuce – and that sick feeling you get after eating a Big Mac. The bun was seed, but not so sweet that it would be considered a dessert. The meat was juicy and tender, while the special sauce actually had depth in it. And for the Kraft cheese, hah, well.
We both loved our burger so it was fitting that it had the word ‘smash’ in its name; if it was a person, I’d be smashing it. Hasan even went as far to say that it was better than a burger from Huxtaburger, his favourite burger place until this point.
We shared a serving of fries. They were double-cooked so they came to us beautifully crunchy and dusted with a healthy dosage of
crack chicken salt. The malt vinegar mayo was also lovely – I like vinegar but not all over my chips so this was a nice subtle way to a bit of tang to each bite.
There was only one dessert on the menu, chocolate and pretzel twist soft serve. I don’t go crazy over chocolate desserts but when I see chocolate mixed with something savoury, I’m all over it. Unfortunately, we were too full to order dessert so we promised we’d come back next time.
With happy bellies, we left Rockwell and Sons vowing to return for their fried chicken (which I’ve heard is meant to be fabulous). And off Hasan went to yet another record store with something like eight new vinyls.