154 Little Bourke Street
Melbourne VIC 3000
+61 3 9639 2633
It’s not often that my (old) workmates and I would catch up on weekends. Sure, we’d do trivia every other Wednesday night and sure, Friday nights are normally guaranteed post-work piss-up nights. But when it comes to organising Saturday afternoon catch-ups, the same group of people are less likely to want to come out. I don’t blame them – I think being around me five days a week is already enough. So when Amy and I decided to organise a weekday yum cha lunch, we were kinda surprised to see that almost everyone in the crew wanted to come.
I guess people do like me enough to want to spend the sixth day of the week with me. Except for Sean, that is. He decided not to come to yum cha, citing reasons ranging from being poor to having footy training to his wife not letting him leave the house – it could also be because he didn’t want to spend extra time with me but whatever.
So the six of us rocked up to Crystal Jade one Saturday afternoon. Pete and I just had coffee at the Rose Street Markets an hour or so beforehand so we were wide awake. The others were decidedly less awake but we nevertheless keen to get their yum cha on.
We ordered pretty much everything we could get our hands on. I didn’t take photos of every single thing we ate though, sorry.
Generally, the food at Crystal Jade is more than decent. Don’t be mistaken by the restaurant’s name though – it’s not the same Crystal Jade franchise that make those fantastic xiaolongbao in Singapore.
I only ever order the fried calamari when I’m having yum cha with my parents. For some reason, my non-family dining companions never seem to want it. Fine with me, I guess – it’s not my favourite thing on the yum cha menu. Amy, however, insisted that we order a plate and I’m glad I listened to her. These tentacles were crispy without being too oily (a problem at a lot of yum cha restaurants) and were equal parts pleasantly spicy and salty.
Rarely am I able to convince most people to eat tripe with me so, again, when Amy agreed to share a serving with me, I was thrilled. Crystal Jade did a more than decent version too so win-win.
I should also point out here that we also ordered chicken feet. Now chicken feet is a dish that I’m not particularly fond of – I love the sauce but not so much the texture. So when I see it on the lazy susan, I send it over the other way. Amy and her husband Brandon ate the chicken feet while I looked on. Meanwhile, our mate Pete decided to give the chicken feet a go. He was doing a good job nibbling on the joints and skin and all that before I realised that his bowl was completely empty. ‘Um, where are the bones?’ I asked him. He looked puzzled, ‘I ate them? Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?’
Um NO, Pete. But you’re cute for trying.
I love a good zhaliang, especially ones where there’s a perfect balance between greens and Chinese donut. And of course, the Chinese donut has to be crispy. Thankfully, this one ticked all boxes.
For some reason, the steamed dim sum dishes were the last to arrive. In fact, I remember waiting quite some time for them to show up. When they did though, we attacked them hungrily. They were excellent dumplings except for maybe the xiaolongbao but then again, only sillyheads would order XLBs at a yum cha restaurant i.e. me.
Crystal Jade offers a reliable yum cha dining option for those stuck in the CBD on weekends. Understandably, there may be a long wait for some dishes (and to even get a table, period) so it’s up to you whether you’re willing to compromise a bit of time for some pretty damn good har gow. Of all the yum cha places in the city, however, this is the one I’m most likely to return to and recommend to others based on taste and price alone. ($25ish per head and we were stuffed)