Melbourne Restaurant Reviews: The Very Very Hungry Caterpillar

YES, this is yet another Melbourne food blog!

Two Birds One Stone

12 Claremont Street
South Yarra VIC 3141
+61 3 9827 1228
http://www.twobirdsonestonecafe.com.au

In light of the events of this evening (no, I’m not talking about State of Origin, ahem), this post about yet another brunch place pales in comparison. I’ll be reviewing Two Birds One Stone – because it’s not like fifty other bloggers have written about it already. Then again, it’s not like we’ve seen ALP leadership spills in the last few years…

So yes, Two Birds One Stone (TBOS). It’s one of Melbourne’s most popular weekend brunch spots at the moment. At present, there are 45 blogger reviews of it on Urbanspoon and a queue that last just as long in minutes on Saturday mornings. I’ve been staying away from brunch places recently but when Queensland friends Dom and Kate, who were here a few weekends ago, wanted to do brunch one Sunday morning, I decided that TBOS would be the perfect place to take them.

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This is TBOS when it’s not as busy. As you can see, there’s still a lot of traffic but this was just after the storm that was Sunday morning, just so you have an idea. The waitress told us that there were no tables available but if I leave my name and number, she would call me. She also estimated a 30-minute wait. ‘Fantastic!’ we thought. ‘MoVida Bakery donuts, here we come!’

We had only been away for 10-15 minutes when we got a call from the café saying that our table was ready. I told her that we were a few blocks away and that it’d take us 5-10 minutes to walk back, and her response to that was a very displeased, ‘Okay, you guys have two minutes before we give your table away.’ I was like, ‘Uh dude, you DID say 30 minutes!’ but regardless, I hung up and we quickly made our way across.

Thankfully our table was still there and thankfully, a much nicer waiter wearing a cute little bowtie ushered us to our very cramped little table in an already very cramped dining room.

Latte ($3.80)

Latte ($3.80)

After a night of cocktails and wine, I desperately needed a coffee. My latte was surprisingly not that fantastic for a café that’s supposed to be reputable. It tasted a bit burnt and it lacked body.

Fruit toast ($7)

Fruit toast ($7)

Kate, having already raided the hotel’s breakfast buffet table earlier that morning, didn’t want a big breakfast. Even though she was tempted by the wonderful-sounding dishes on the menu, she decided to be good by ordering the fruit toast. I didn’t have any of it but she declared it the best fruit toast she’s ever had.

Charred polenta, enoki, shmeji, oyster and shitake mushrooms, gorgonzola cream, asparagus, hazelnuts and truffle pecorino ($17.50)

Charred polenta, enoki, shmeji, oyster and shitake mushrooms, gorgonzola cream, asparagus, hazelnuts and truffle pecorino ($17.50)

Dom chose a dish from the all day lunch menu, a tantalisingly creamy combination of mushrooms and cheese all in one. Everything was right about this dish: the creamy polenta and gorgonzola cream all rolled into one, the earthy medley of mushrooms and the crunchy hazelnuts, all tied together with the soft whispers of truffle pecorino. It was divine.

Two Birds: eggs on toast with mushrooms, spinach, heirloom tomatoes, haloumi and avocado ($18.50)

Two Birds: eggs on toast with mushrooms, spinach, heirloom tomatoes, haloumi and avocado ($18.50)

In hindsight, I should have been more adventurous with my breakfast choice. I should have ordered the roast chicken sandwich with house made sausages or even the Reuben sandwich. Instead, I went for their house special that pretty much contained every ingredient that every second café in Melbourne puts on their house special dish. The only difference was that the avocado wasn’t smashed like my 17-year old self on year 12 formal night.

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To be fair, my breakfast was pretty nice. The poached eggs were lovely as you can see, and so was the crispy pan-fried haloumi slice and the sweet heirloom tomatoes. I’m just being a bit of a crankypants because I suffered a case of food envy. Note to self: never play it safe for breakfast again, unless you’re eating at a Vietnamese restaurant.

So my visit might not have been perfect (hell, the coffee certainly wasn’t) but I can see why TBOS is getting all the hype. The staff were generally lovely and despite the whole place being busy, our food did arrive relatively quickly. While I won’t be rushing to order the Two Birds breakfast again, I definitely have my eye on some of that mushroom polenta. Mmm.

Two Birds One Stone on Urbanspoon

8 Comments on Two Birds One Stone

  1. CCU
    June 27, 2013 at 06:57 (10 months ago)

    Despite some of the setbacks, this cafe does have a nice ambience :)

    Cheers
    Choc Chip Uru

    Reply
  2. Hannah
    June 27, 2013 at 10:15 (10 months ago)

    I had no idea the leadership spill was even in the offing, so my experience was waking up to a one-sentence email from my dad and pretty much shrieking-slash-ughing-slash-headpalming all over Amber’s kitchen table UGH so sick of all of it.

    But I would not be sick of polenta with mushrooms. Segue win!

    Reply
  3. Hotly Spiced
    June 27, 2013 at 11:26 (10 months ago)

    He,he, love the reference to your Year 12 formal. It’s such a shame when waiters are rude. It sounds like this place likes to cram in its customers but perhaps that’s a good thing on a cold day. The fruit toast does look very good if you’ve already raided a hotel’s buffet xx

    Reply
  4. Daisy@Nevertoosweet
    June 27, 2013 at 11:58 (10 months ago)

    Oh gosh that’s so rude! I seriously hate waiters that are rude they’re not any better I don’t care even if their restaurant or cafe is really good! Not good but having said that the dishes look awesome and I really enjoyed TBOS when i went so I might have to go back sometime when it’s less busy! hehe

    Reply
  5. Erika
    June 30, 2013 at 23:13 (10 months ago)

    Haha, I have a feeling the 17-year old versions of ourselves would have gotten along swimmingly. Shame about the service, I know I always find that off-putting. I was really lucky to nab a booth the last time I was here without having to wait at all. And had I known about the mushroom polenta, I would have ordered it! Yum! :)

    Reply
  6. Ashley
    July 11, 2013 at 17:37 (9 months ago)

    Oh man. I am going back for that asparagus, polenta, gorgonzola looking thing of deliciousness. Hope it’s still on the menu..!

    Reply
  7. Jo
    July 18, 2013 at 22:40 (9 months ago)

    Oh dear, pity about the service! I’ve had pretty good food: can’t go past the ham hock toastie! Also tried the gingerbread pancakes that was offered on special one day, it was freakin’ amazeballs!

    Reply

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