Shop 10, Orchid Avenue
Surfers Paradise QLD 4217
+61 7 5504 7890
The more I visit the Gold Coast, the more I grow to like it. I like the fact that the temperature stays above 20 degrees, even in winter. I like that on days when it’s forecasted to rain – it doesn’t (just like yesterday). And I like the fact that you can find hidden foodie gems in unassuming suburban plazas such as Q Super Centre in Mermaid Waters, including a place that makes the most amazing Jamaican jerk chicken and a quiet Japanese cafe that do cheap and delicious sushi.
That said, I don’t think I’ll ever grow to like Surfers Paradise. It’s loud, brash and in-your-face like that annoying co-worker who shoves her ugly face at you on Monday mornings, regaling tales of the weekend gone by while flashing around a fugly orange kaftan and shaking her cheap bangles around to emphasise every word that comes out of her mouth. The nightclubs are trashy, the bars have nothing on Melbourne’s ones and the food, oh man, the FOOD…
Take Wahoo’s Fish Taco, for example. It’s a franchise that’s achieved moderate success in Gold Coast and Byron Bay. On their website, they claim to be a 100% Australian franchise but it seems like there was already an established American version of the franchise, and they just happened to branch out to Australia. I first heard about this place from two friends who, while exploring Surfers Paradise (and more specifically, Shooters nightclub, or ‘rape alley’ as one of them called it, heeh), came across the joint, saw that they served ‘fish tacos’ and found it hilarious. Sadly, they didn’t have time to sample those fish tacos but that’s why I’m here – to try places that people have come across, but never got around to trying. It was dead when we rocked up to the shabby diner-like kiosk yesterday evening, except for two couldn’t-have-been-older-than-14
derros girls who were manning the joint. Although Wahoo’s offer a plethora of other snack items such as chips, burgers and ‘salads,’ we were just here to try their fish tacos so we ordered two ‘world famous fish tacos’ in soft shells ($3.50 on the menu, but we were only charged $2.50 each for them).
They were horrible. Like, Twilight series horrible. The tortilla shells housed a massive glop of undercooked basa fillets that had seen better days in the frozen section of your local supermarket mixed in with some soggy white rice, some ‘coastal slaw’ (essentially shredded raw cabbage) and a white sauce that was supposed to be a ‘special citrus sauce’ but tasted more like a very bland mayonnaise. There was supposed to be a bit of cheese and salsa in the mix too but we got none of the salsa and the cheese, well, I did taste something vaguely cheese-y so I’ll give them that at least. Thumbs down for being given only one set of cutlery, however, when there were clearly two of us.
Seriously, this shite is supposedly ‘world famous’? It was so bad that I literally had two bites before refusing to eat anymore. Marty did better by eating a few more bites before he, too, resigned. In the end, we walked out of the place without looking back and stumbled into Picture Bar and Lounge across the road where we had cocktails to wash away the horribleness that was Wahoo’s fish tacos. Now, I’m not normally a foodie hater but far out, man, they were THE most disgusting thing I’ve ever had. How this place managed to not only stay in business by serving crappy food and employing dour teenagers who looked like they’d rather be elsewhere (then again, don’t blame them really) BUT spawn several franchises around Gold Coast, I don’t know. Never, EVER again. Yuck.