1. I was in the city running errands all day today. When I finally finished at around 3pm, I decided that it was time for a late lunch.
2. Grabbed Adam and decided to grab a quick bite at Chinatown Dumplings because it was nearby and because I felt like dumplings. Even though our last few visits have been terrible, it was either that or Dumplings Plus and because I’m over Dumplings Plus, Chinatown won hands-down.
3. There are several tables by the window looking out onto Swanston St when we get there but for some reason, the waitress puts us at a table out the back next to the kitchen where it was so dark that you couldn’t see anything.
4. We ordered a serving of fried pork dumplings (15 for $7.80), a serving of steamed chicken and prawn dumplings (10 for $7.80) and a spring onion pancake ($3.50). Yes, the prices have gone up since our first visit.
5. Our fried pork dumplings arrived literally one second later. No kidding. One second. They were covered in a ghastly residue of cooking oil and they were NOT crunchy!
6. We weren’t given bowls so we had to run around and ask a waitress for a couple of them.
7. Our tea flask refused to pour out tea (there was something blocking the opening) so Adam had to wrestle with the lid to unscrew it before any tea could come out.
8. Our spring onion pancake arrived, burnt on the bottom.
9. The waitresses and chefs were beginning to get cozy with their meals at the back, presumably to get ready for the dinner rush. They had forgotten our steamed dumplings. And when we politely reminded them that we still had one more dish coming, we get a rude response from one of the waitresses “steamed dumplings always take 15 minutes to cook!”
10. Our steamed dumplings come and they fall apart with a slight nudge of the chopstick. Sigh.
11. Just when we thought things couldn’t get any worse, we see some sort of INSECT (not a cockroach, though rather similar) scuttle right across our table before disappearing behind the chopstick dispenser.
12. After paying our bill, we got the hell out of there vowing never to return.
13. I’m currently writing there while clutching my stomach, and drinking copious amounts of tea and honey.
And the Dumpling Conspiracy is still very much alive…